It’s been a while now, I’ve been in Sydney for almost 3 weeks and while the adventures begin, sadness does still remain and I am quite surprises I haven’t drowned in my own tears some days. We have moved into our new Revthreads pad and our stuff is here, we have made it our own but it’s very different. I have wandered around our new surroundings, taking in the fresh air as I found a place within walking distance to do yoga – Egg of the Universe, pretty good I must say and it’s good to clear the mind and move the body in the warmth of a studio. I have visited some coffee places and of course the pubs. Its interesting that in a city with so many people you can still end up feeling lonely, leading me to really believe loneliness must be one of the most terrible poverties there is. I wandered through the city one day before catching up with a friend and I felt like I was in a scene from Lost in Translation. Surrounded by hundreds, probably thousands of people and yet I may have well being on another planet, everyone was simply hurrying along, so many people, so little time. I thought about how unfriendly our world had become and thought about how many times I would have walked through Brisbane and passed by the me in another form without acknowledging their presence. I only wandered for about an hour, but it was a long hour!
Relocating is such a huge thing, and the idea of allowing yourself to settle in a new place is a bit scary, the pain of leaving behind youngest revthreads and grandson rethreads, friends work is a hard thing to do, so in protection it seems a little better to perhaps keep yourself isolated, that way it never has to be repeated. It’s not all doom and gloom of course, I do know some people and we have had the opportunity to share over a few beers, begin to let roots touch the ground and perhaps just begin to settle. Hoping is some shape or form life will return to whatever we perceive as normal.
Our pad is in a great location, walking distance to pretty much everything we need including the water. I have to say for such a busy area I can’t believe how small the Woolworths car park is, so grocery shopping has even become a process of thinking will I get parked or will I have to pay for street parking – this did of course lead me to think I could make the Coles without the aid of my IPhone navigation via a road that I had never been down which included a very skilful drive the wrong way down a oneway street – thank God for Queensland number plates, a little support of my sorry I have no idea where I am or where I am going.
I am still waiting for work, so days are long and so there has been a need to cook lots, go to yoga often and get extremely frustrated with Optus over their complete inability to fulfil their contract with us and provide internet by the agreed date – another reason for it being a while since I blogged!
It has been great to spend more time with the eldest revthreads and the now 2, new grandpups, this has of course involved mum revthreads cooking dinners, but that’s OK. This weekend we have youngest Revthreads, her partner and grandson Revthreads visiting so that is exciting.
All I can really offer on relocating and leaving so much behind is it’s hard, it never gets easier, from past experience I am well aware that healing happens, but it’s important to name the grief, the loss because unless we do we can’t really claim the healing. If we fail to acknowledge the significant changes how can we begin to put down roots for new beginnings, new challenges, new adventures? If we are too guarded about how we feel how can we receive love and support from those who are willing to offer a hand of friendship? Every box I unpacked reminded me of what I have chosen to do, every box unpacked brought tears, but now I can face all our things and I can see them as being in their new place for now, their new place.
As time passes it gets a little easier, embrace the visits from loved ones, enjoy the moments with new ones and ultimately book a holiday with a friend, I did, it’s just a little something extra to look forward to when the days are long.