Having being back for a number of weeks now, life is beginning to settle into a pattern, of some sorts. The 14 months I spent in Sydney seem almost like a passing memory, albeit a little turbulent. I spent my first 2 weeks back home necking antibiotics for the first time in about 10 years with a few moments of feeling sorry for myself. Part of the self pity is down to the fact that I had no-one to make a cup of tea for me or make me homemade soup (under my supervision of course) but among the self pity is a huge change that has occurred in my life, because this is the first time I have ever lived alone. Mr Revthreads and me are still very much together, but alas the bottom line is that his work life is in Sydney and it became a bit of an old Meatloaf song situation, “I will do anything for love, but I won’t do that!” Sydney was no place for me. The majority of my previous blogs have been around travel, but as my next trip isn’t until January 2018 and my previous trip was a whirlwind I’m taking the time to share some reflections.
I’ve arrived back in the city I called home for 17 years of my life before I temporarily took leave of my senses and headed south. Sydney is a city so full of people, heads down focussed on their lives, a city so full of cars that if you dare to take a second too long to take off your handbrake horns begin to bellow, I seriously had moment that reminded me of being in India. It’s a city so densely populated, the best way I can express it, hopefully respectfully, is that it seemed so full of individuals that it often left me feeling lonely and so after a while my senses returned and so I’m back in the city I call home.
While I’m definitely home, It’s a strange and new encounter for me, I have a wonderful unit close to the city, I have the grandie Revthreads down the road, I get to see Mr Revthreads on weekends, but along with living alone another big adjustment is that I’m unemployed with a fair bit of time on my hands. Fortunate enough to be able to rest in the space of unemployment, thank you Mr Revthreads for your love and support, I find myself contemplating what might be next. I dream of writing something, making something, creating something, it’s almost as if this step has awakened a creative side of me that has been either never engaged or somewhat made dormant within. I’ve worked my whole life, never really had maternity leave when my girls where born, mortgages and bills must be paid, the drive to be successful encouraged at every turn. Of course bills still have to be paid but I’ve begun really contemplating around the idea of being successful. What the hell is it to be successful?
The great Australian dream, as I’ve understood it, is to own your own home, a sign of success, well after 14 months in Sydney and being in that housing market as a renter watching houses and units go on the market for a million dollars plus, does this mean that we are creating an environment where many young people, and not just young people, will either be viewed as unsuccessful or feel unsuccessful? The drive to succeed, the symbol of success is reduced to a physical dwelling place. People defining themselves on their possessions, where they live, what car they drive, what latest gadget they have purchased.
What is it to be successful? I’m very serious when I suggest that success ought to be life-giving not commodity building, we are all caught in the latter, I believe, or at least the vast majority of us are. The idea of life-giving for me is to have a sense of peace and purpose, a place to belong that is more than a building, it’s not my place to tell anyone else what success is for them, that’s possibly part of the problem, we are told what it is to be successful, rather than spending sometime to consider and reflect for ourselves, if we have the luxury of space and time to do so!
Anyhoo, the bottom line of this sharing is that I’m going to try and be a bit more active on here, read it or leave it, that’s OK, but as I watch the news and the world I’m going to share my thoughts and reflections and I in